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Jun. 12th, 2006 @ 07:05 pm
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Apr. 12th, 2006 @ 09:15 pm
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You know when you finally meet someone in college who isn't like the rest of the slutty college girls, who has morals, good grades, who's father is a twin and likes to ski, who looks at you and her gaze doesn't leave, who everytime she laughs your heart melts, who is stunningly pretty and loves playing with your hair?
Ya, I found her.Current Mood:  happy |
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Feb. 24th, 2006 @ 01:48 am
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Once upon a time, i thought I had it all.
I have found that I have began to fall.
I don't know if the path I am on,
Will prove the man I will become.
I seem lost in a swirling mist,
Or life so caught up in a single fist.
How can I survive in a world,
Dominated by selfish desires.
What am I left to do,
But wander and wait for the few.
I am tested over and over again,
With no break in a constant sin.
What must I do to retain myself,
In a world of familiar people.
To what image should I meld to,
And will I ever find the what or who.
Will the world ever being again,
Or will I be forced to live through life.
I am unsatisfied, but what should I do,
For I am forsaken to mistunderstanding.
I am lost, will I ever be found...Current Mood:  depressed Current Music: Goo Goo Dolls- Better Days |
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May. 30th, 2005 @ 06:59 pm
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Current Mood:  apathetic |
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Apr. 27th, 2005 @ 11:39 pm
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There were three kids traveling down a forest path when they saw three squirrels that been run over by bikes. The first felt sadness and pity, for what had the squirrel ever done to deserve this? He took the first squirrel home and nursed it back to health. He released it into the wild where it soon died because it had been domesticated by the boy.
The second boy decided the pain of the squirrel must be too much, in fact judging the squirrel, and took the squirrel home, put it out of its misery, and buried it.
The third boy looked down at the last squirrel and smiled, because the sight was so beautiful. That third boy walked away and never looked back at the squirrel, for even though the squirrel was in pain and died soon after, it was home.
Where are we, and will we ever find our homes in this world before it’s too late?
I once gave up before I realized I wasn’t getting anywhere. So I started walking.
If you want to know if someone loves you: hold them close, kiss them goodnight, be there for them and then kick them out of your life. What happens next will show you what you truly mean to them.
Are we waiting for yesterday to happen today so the world of tomorrow can look back on yesterday? Or are we simply dumb and can’t see what truly matters?Current Mood:  stressed |
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How sweet is this?! Gail is my perverted scientist... hehe... and I have controlled 69 countries, good number... lol!
Apr. 27th, 2005 @ 06:01 pm
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| » It's about sex... and immaturity |
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You know what, I hate dumb people. I really do. I also hate people who make fun of me and tell me I'm someone I'm not.
Lets pick a random person... hmmm... this isn't hard.... NATHAN!
Ok, i got a bone to pick with you. Every feeling i've ever felt but not told you in the past year. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GAY!!! I think you're an attention seeking messed up kid with too much on his mind who doesn't understand the world. I think you are naive and do the stupidest stuff in the world. And guess what, I was proven correct by that last post of yours about you and nina having sex.
Nina, I have lost respect for you, sry. Tough luck. Having sex with a senior, having only known him for less than a year, him being "gay," and doing it right after your "disembarkment" for a relationship with Jared. Wow, I cannot believe you would do something so idiotic and stupid.
And Nathan, you say that I'm a horny bastard who has no morals (you said that, remember)... Well fuck you up the ass, literally. There is a reason I haven't had sex, and its cuz i'm to IMMATURE!!! just like you said at the end of your stupid fucking post. But guess what, SO R U! You're just too dumb to realize it.
I can't believe you would do something like that, I have lost all respect for you. Screw being friends, go have fun in California. And never, ever tell me again that I should change or be someone different, or do something for the fucking group, cuz you can't give me that after all that you've done.
You pathetic, childish children. You both are far dumber than I ever gave you credit for.
~Nick
Apr. 23rd, 2005 @ 03:40 pm
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I...
GOT...
IN...
TO...
USC!!!
OH MY FRICKING GOD! But i didn't get into the film program, but maybe thats a sign, so I'm prolly gonna end up going to USC as undeclared and just go with the flow and see what happens... who knows if ill still want to do film? I don't, so I'm gonna go undecided...
Its sick, I'm gonna be a TROJAN!
Mar. 29th, 2005 @ 12:39 pm
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yaaaahhhh... in these dark times these is one glimmer of hope...
I got accepted in the UW... jump up and down... ok, thats tiring
Dec. 30th, 2004 @ 04:34 pm
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I hate little brothers...
Cameron steals from me, the amount of times he's gone into my room and taken things is uncountable, but he gets away with it every fucking time. I mean, who would believe big, bad ole-Nick when the other option is the innocent angel known as Cameron?
In the past i've found up to 20$ missing, but mom and dad believed he didn't do anything... My collection of baseball cards were stolen, to end up in cameron's room... but of course, "he didn't do it..."
I hate my mom and dad... my dad just walked in the room, saw me posting, and started calling me names and saying how stupid I was to post my feelings on the internet, how stupid I was to do livejournal... I told him since he doesn't support me, my friends do cuz they use lj too, and he said everyone is stupid...
I mean,can't they even respect my feelings? If I want to use a blog, why does he have to berate me and try to lessen me as a "man"? I hate my life right now... Fuck the world...
Well, I've broken my hand, had surgery, got yelled at, gone off my meds, verbally abused, laughed at by my dad, gotten bad news from Chapman University cuz i don't have everything in, and i'm off to Eastern Washington to spend time with my fucking family...
Wow, i'm having a blast this Holiday Season!
Dec. 27th, 2004 @ 03:17 pm
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Surgery and its painful afteraffects... God i'm in so much pain... My hand feels like its on fire and I have to type with one hand... fuck fuck fuck... unwrapping presents with one hand sucks all of you lucky two-handers...
Dec. 25th, 2004 @ 09:00 pm
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You Are From Venus |
You love all forms of beauty. You love dressing up and anything luxurious.
A social butterfly, you're incredibly popular and a great host.
You're known for your fairness and affection. And as a frind to all.
Careful though! You're desire to please may make you too willing to conform.
Be yourself. Focus on what matters to you. You'll be all the more popular for it.
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Dec. 5th, 2004 @ 09:51 pm
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I LOVE YOU ANGELA!
I LOVE YOU ANGELA! I LOVE YOU ANGELA!
I LOVE YOU ANGELA! I LOVE YOU ANGELA! I LOVE YOU ANGELA!
I LOVE YOU ANGELA! I LOVE YOU ANGELA!
I LOVE YOU ANGELA!
A promise is a promise...
Nov. 7th, 2004 @ 11:40 pm
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| » What is wrong people? |
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What is wrong with everyone?! This is your SENIOR year! You have one last year with the people you have known yoru whole life before they are gone. Yes... gone. They won't be there to comfort you anymore, they won't be there to hold you, they won't be there as they were.
So take advantage of the time you have left with them because it will soon be gone. enjoy Senior year! Enjoy your freinds! Look around at this place, and instead of critisizing it, saying how much it sucks, wanting change, look at it more carefully. This town has raised you, made you who you are, and has molded you. this town has all your friends, everything you have known (unless you've moved), this town and these people will all be gone soon.
Why does everyone waste away there time being unhappy when we have such a short time to be happy in life? I won't see any of you (except Nathan and Jon) if I go to California. I won't get to make fun of South Africans, I won't get to cry and be comforted by penguins, I won't be able to do the stuff we think of as normal, an everyday occurence. So make the best of what you have!
This year, don't be sad. You can be sad the day high school ends, when you will never see your friends again (deliberatelly exxagerating, but not much). Be sad then, not now. We have less than a year left. Lets make the best out of it.
Oct. 26th, 2004 @ 12:39 pm
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High School Drama...
I'm told too often that things are changing, that things weren't what they used to be. Things will never be the same... the only reason they aren't the same is because people choose to look at the picture differently. Its alright to look at the picture differently, encouraged even, but there is absolutely no reason to forget those basic friendships or hardwork that you have gone through. Every issue that is dramatized by high school students should be able to not matter comparitively to those friendships you've maintained for countless years.
Friends matter more than whatever you are making drama over, for the world needs to take a step back and look at the big picture. What matters in life? What really matters?! Not every single thing matters in the world, only those select things that you care for so much about that you would do anything. I don't need to like everyone, I dont need to talk to everyone, I dont need to be there for everyone. Someone else can be there for those others, because I am there for a select few. Those are the people and things that matter.
Really, in 10 years when you look back, who will you remember? Will you remember those friendships that lasted 3 months, that girlfriend you had for 2 months, or that day you did something great. No, you wont truly remember anything of that except in a distant memory...What you WILL remember are those 2 or 3 friends who changed your life. CHANGED your life. Those are the things and the people that truly matter, who helped you becoem who you are today in 10 years.
why does anythign else matter, whether a date goes successfully, or whether this weekend you stay home or hang out with friends? That doesn't matter, what matters is those 2 relationships that last for years before now. Why is there this drama? Who cares if your best friend likes a girl you'd been dating, that doesn't really matter, good for them, I'm happy for them. Who cares if lust, not love, drives someone's emotions and decisions for a period of 3 months, because in the long run he or she was who you always remembered them to be, and that is all that matters.
What matters is nto the score of the football game, not who you danced with, who you kissed, or who you yelled at... What matters... what TRULY matters, are the things that changed your life so that you are no longer the same person. Those are the things you will remember, those are the things you will look back on, those are the memories you will cherish.
Nothing else matters...
Oct. 14th, 2004 @ 12:59 pm
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| » 4 months and 27 days |
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4 months and 27 days... i thought it would last longer...
I have no regrets, it was amazing, but when someone you hold so close and love so much leaves, it leaves a tear in your heart. I know that person wont leave, she will be wiht me forever, but in the end it still leaves you sad. Things wont be the same, though I hope with all my heart they will resemble what it was before, how close our relationship was.
When it ends, and you find yourself on the recieving end, you look back at everything and tell yourself, what could I have done differently... you remember every moment you spent together, every little detail about how she walks, or how you'd let each other know in the little ways when everyone was around that you were thinking about the other person...
I didn't sleep last night, remembering all the things we did... in retrospect, there wasn't anything I could have done differently, for I bared my heart and soul.
Lia, I've said it before and meant it more than anything in the world, and I'll say it again. I Love You... that will never change. Thank you for everything, it changed my life.
With all the love in the world,
baciare steele
Sep. 4th, 2004 @ 10:55 am
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| » omg, hectic hectic hectic..... |
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wow, long time no write.... better start now. Now that I'm finally off Net Nanny (fuckign parents) I can finally use LiveJournal... i have missed out on so much.
Anyways, these next few months are going to suck... barely any hanging out with friends because I'll be working on my Eagle Project (i need to get it done for my application), my scholarships (that i need to get for college cuz my parents can't afford it), my grades (cuz i have a 3.7989 and I need a 3.8), and all my admissions and letters of recommendation (blah blah blah). I dont actually think i'm looking forward to all this work, cuz its really the point in life where I'm going to have to time manage everything...jump for joy.
Anyways, I have to go, work at 2:00 and I gotta get ready, so I'll catch ya all later. Peace and its good to be back.
~Nick
Aug. 28th, 2004 @ 11:38 am
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I’M BACK!!! YAAAHHH!!!
Aug. 21st, 2004 @ 04:47 pm
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The world collected, viewing from above,
looking down on my sad soul, full of anguished love.
Confused and lost inside,
I'm ready for the past to release me and hide.
There are those who can't see,
Running through this life.
Blinded by all the pain inside,
Seeing blackness through the strife.
Having problems of there own,
Just another sad story, nothing to say.
They think they're here to rescue me,
and I can't understand... why people act this way.
Jewel encrusted fires with bloody ruby flames,
Casting down on me in one fuckign ruthless game.
Its always the bleeding ones who look at me and say,
Help me just this once more through my suicidal day.
There are those who can't see,
Running through this life.
Blinded by all the pain inside,
Seeing blackness through the strife.
Having problems of there own,
Just another sad story, nothing to say.
They think they're here to rescue me,
and I can't understand... why people act this way.
Jul. 13th, 2004 @ 08:16 pm
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